The Gifts We Have For Our Kids!!!

Hey My Friend,

I spoke to one of our amazing parents this weekend and when I say trust yourself because you know your kid better than ANYONE please believe me.  TRUST YOURSELF because you know your kid better than ANYONE! To my friend in the journey who allowed me to be a part of yours and your youngsters youth sports journey… THANK YOU!

Let’s get to today’s question:

Question From The Community: As a parent of a competitive young athlete, how do I best navigate the balance between providing support and structure while also allowing my daughter to take ownership of her development? I want to push her to reach her potential, but I also know that motivation has to come from within and pushing one way can also bring pressure to her. How can I help her build that internal drive without it feeling like I’m forcing it?

My Thoughts For You: Just ask her. “What are your goals? Ask her with

• No emotional attachment.
• No ulterior motive.
• No parent energy if you know what I mean. 🤣🤣🤣 HA!
• Just a general desire to know and understand her goals. 

Not what are the goals that she thinks that you want her to have. What goals does she want for yourself as far as this sports thing goes. Ask here and see what she says. Then based on that I think that pushing or not pushing will make itself clear. I mean, I’m pretty sure that you’re not saying… “Hey… I know you can pass that math class, but I’m going to leave it up to you. You gotta want it! No pushing over here.”

If you’re like us you say… “You will have a good grade or we’re going to have issues.” Why? Because it’s important to their life. I like to think of sports the same way. IF… your goal is to _______ My job is to help you get there.

My mom used to say to me… “You might not like me all the time, but that’s ok.” She would say… “I’m not one of your little friends. I’m your mom. Don’t get it confused.” she would also say… “I’m going to be here when all those best friends are gone.” she was right. Even today I can hear her talking to me, buuut that was my mom. Your relationship with your child is your relationship.

My friend, lately I’ve asked my high schoolers, “Do you like the idea of this or do you really want the “be great” thing?” There is a difference.

Take a look: https://troyhorne.lpages.co/mental-toughness-videos/

Being great or going pro ain’t for everyone. You and your youngster have to be honest with each other. Because the idea and what it actually is are NOT the same. Either choice is ok… Just know which one you’re going for. Also know that if she’s deciding to be great or go pro, the route is not filled with what the world calls “balance”.

I remember talking with Jason Richardson about being in the NBA and he said and I quote.

“It was great, but I don’t ever want to get on an airplane EVER AGAIN!” I put that in all caps because he was very emphatic about that. I mean he was flying at least 40-50 times a year. I get it Mr. Richardson I get it.

Cristiano Renaldo: Soccer Academy at 12
Simone Biles: Elite training at 14 pro at 18
Serena Williams: Pro at 14

Lastly I tell my youngsters…”You decide what you want, but once you make that decision it’s my job to help you get there. My job is to carry you when you can’t do it yourself.” Obviously we have to know the kid and read the room, but that’s what I think. Step one… “What does she want?” Step two… “Push or don’t based on her decision. Step 3… Always remember that “Going for greatness looks crazy to the rest of world.”

Hope this helps my friend,

Troy (aka Horne Kids’ Dad)

Story Time:
My wife was talking to a business coach the other day and they were telling her…

“When we started coaching businesses we thought that there was one way to be successful. We would tell people who were using our system that if our system wasn’t working for them they needed to work harder.

What we learned over time is that each business has it’s own individual journey. What works for one can be a disaster for another. So what we do now is adjust and pivot based on the business and that has worked out a lot better for our customers.” – Business Coach Dude. 

Let me share something with you. 
Take a look: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3_Eie-5j8Y&t
For you non-clickers – Mr. Corey Gauff says @ 00:50 in the video: “I kinda move around behind the scenes. I try and find a quiet corner and look at it on my Ipad and then I make notes and sometimes I’m texting her and texting the coaches if I see something I think they can’t see.” – Corey Gauff

Don’t let ANYONE play on your emotions and your desire to help your young athlete. Even at the French Open the Gauffs believe that your child is your responsibility. Their entire team understands that their family is primary. So… if he needs to text/communicate with their child before during or after the match that’s what it is and their team understands that.

In my opinion family first and family connection first leads to a more relaxed and confident child who can handle adversity like a champ. Notice the handling of adversity after her opponent comes unhinged. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wN_9eUjfX6EThis is an athlete who knows that no matter what she has her parents and her parents have her back. 

People will try to say to you…”We know what’s best for your kid.” followed up with a hint of “You’re doing it wrong.” and a pinch of “Do it our way or your kid will suffer.” Don’t let them bully you into their way. Do it your way. Trust yourself and your child.YOU know what’s best.

If other people tell you that you’re doing it wrong or that your child will suffer because of you hit them with this child’s honest take. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4A6Bu96ALOw
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 And then go and win the French Open!

Today’s How To!
Now, I can’t leave you without an action step.  Coco must have read our book because she does what we do. It’s cool to see champions use these exercises to win French Opens and stuff. 

If you don’t click on anything else PLEASE read this!
https://apnews.com/article/french-open-women-gauff-sabalenka-1c3171407a915f51948f276c7cf14014

(My friend Alex sent this to me. #ThanksAlex)
Still works. #keepgoing and… TRUST YOURSELF!

Hope this helps you my friend. 

Troy (Aka Horne Kids’ Dad) 

P.S. If you haven’t left a review we could use your help! Thank you to those of you who have! I super appreciate you! 🙂 Thank you! For the rest of y’all… Clickety clickety and typety typety. Please. 

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Mental Toughness For Young Athletes (Review Link)
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